CONFESSIONS OF A SHORT GIRL
By: Ashley
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SPRING EDITION
Alright my fellow small friends, spring is here (unless you’re like me and live in Canada where Mother Nature is drunk). On the bright side, new season=new wardrobe. Finding clothes becomes difficult for the tiny humans of the world because, let’s face it, unless it’s labelled “petite”, clothes make you like you should be shopping at Gap Kids.
But, don’t worry; I know you belong in the adult Gap store. So I have compiled the struggles that us tiny human beings experience while trying to look “hip” or whatever weird word kids are using these days.
1. Maxi Dresses are made for Short People… Said No Honest Friend Ever
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Look, maxi dresses are so trendy and are usually super flattering on the average height human, however, it makes us tiny humans look like we float through life as a ghost. Not to mention the fact that if you wear the dress, it will drag on the floor and you will look even shorter than you already do. It’s not fun, don’t try it.
Pros: No need to bring out that razor, the dresses can cover those furry legs
2. These Boots are made for Walking….
Okay, so it’s April which means there will be a ridiculous amount of rain. You know what this means, it’s time to bring out the super cute rain boots. Well, for us pint sized people, rain boots might as well be shin pads too. I have to buy children’s shoes (luckily, I have toddler sized feet) in order to give me some leg showing cuteness between the boots and my knee. Really, it just looks like the boot has pretty much eaten my shins.
Pros: Your legs won’t get covered in water from a car splashing you
3. Long Coats for Days
Similar to the boots situation, the super cute spring coats are on fleek (yes, I used that word). These coats are so flattering on your average height person but yet again, us short folk miss out again. I know that when I wear these coats, It looks like I’m playing dress up in my mother’s closet. It also looks like my legs are non-existent, which doesn’t help my “adult “look.
Pros: If you’re cold, you can bundle your small legs under the coat to stay warm
4. Are Capri Pants Considered Regular Pants on Short Girls?
Okay babes, no matter how hard you try, regular sized Capri pants will NOT FIT ON SHORT PEOPLE. It will either look like you’re wearing odd length shorts or your pants are just a tad too short. Either way, it is not a good look.
Pros: None, there is never any pros to Capri Pants on short people.
There is no denying the truth, I am a short girl. As much as I love to tell people I’m 5’2 (which is still not very tall), I’m unfortunately a solid 5’ foot and a half. The harsh reality is that, I have stopped growing, which means I will be this short forever.
Now, I won’t deny that there are advantages to being short and in fact, sometimes it is a blessing to find yourself lower to the ground than everyone else. However, there are significant struggles that we tiny humans face on a daily basis which impact our ability to function like the adults that we try to be. This segment will focus on the top 5 short girl’s struggles of this week which emphasize the disadvantages about being a fun-sized human.
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The pants you wear engulf your feet. If you’ve ever had that struggle where you put on a very cute pair of pants, but then you look down and see that your pants have taken over your foot, then you may be a short girl. As a short girl, you will always need to hem your pants, which takes time and effort that could be spent on other important things, like finding good shoes.
Pro: never having to worry about your pants getting too short -
Walking with your tall friends feels like a sprint. When you’re a short girl, it may take longer to get from one place to another due to the lack of length in your legs. What makes that most noticeable? Walking with your tall friend. You don’t want to tell your friend “slow down giant”, but the thought is always there in the back of your mind.
Pro: You get more exercise by sprinting to catching up to your tall friend -
“Awe, you’re so cute” is a common term you hear. Look, just because I lack in the height department, doesn’t mean that I’m automatically a “cute” girl. Especially when I look in the mirror prior to my shenanigans and I think “Damn, I look good” only to stand next to my normal sized friends and realize that I will be the only one getting ID’d tonight, looking like a child in “big girl clothes”
Pro: you will look young even while you’re aging -
You are a great hide and seek player… when you’re not even playing. Have you ever felt like you were looking for a needle in multiple beanstalks? Well that’s how it feels trying to find your friends in a crowd when you are pretty much the size of a child. On top of that, having your friends hold your hand because they know that if they lose you in a crowd, you’ll be gone forever is not how I like spending my weekend nights at a bar.
Pro: Hiding from ex boyfriends by walking into a crowd is handy when trying to avoid them -
People look down on you… literally. How nice is it when you’re sitting down and having an adult conversation with your friend where you look straight at their face without straining your neck. Then comes the awkward moment when you both stand up and you realize that they must look down in order to talk to you. What if you have dandruff that day? What if you have greasy hair? Or what if the part in your hair isn’t straight? Well that doesn’t matter because you can’t hide it; they know. They will always know.
Pro: You always having a friend to tell you when to fix your hair
